Progress, Not Perfection

Craig 00:00 

Welcome to Live Well & Flourish. I'm your host, Craig Van Slyke.

I’m not perfect and I never will be. The same goes for you. Perfection in your practice of virtue and wisdom is, to put it bluntly, impossible. The Stoics write about the sage … the perfect Stoic, but that’s a fictional ideal, not a reality. To be human is to be imperfect. So, striving for perfection is striving for the impossible and that makes perfectionism a source of ongoing frustration.

Here’s a trivial little story, kind of a metaphorical story that might help me make my point. Years ago, I used to run the annual Daytona Beach 5k (I think it was the 5k). It was one of those point-to-point races where you started at one point and ended at another, I think we ended at the boardwalk. The race wasn’t that long, like I said, a 5K I think. But it was horribly difficult for two reasons. One is that it’s not all that easy to run on sand (especially at my size), but the other, and the one that's more to the point here, is that you could see the boardwalk and the finish line almost from the start of the race, but it never seemed to get any closer, until right at the end of the run. Basically, it felt like you were running to the horizon. You kept running and running, but never seem to make any progress. Perfection is the same. You keep trying and trying to be perfect, but you never get there.

Craig 01:39 

So, perfection may work as a motivator, but it’s a terrible expectation. Too many people (looking at you, guy in the mirror) get down on themselves when they mess up. They expect to be perfect and when they are inevitably are NOT perfect, they are disappointed in themselves. Seeking perfection is fine, but expecting perfection is a recipe for disappointment and burnout.

OK, if you shouldn’t expect perfection, what should you expect? Well, progress. If you’re getting better and growing in your practice of virtue and wisdom, you’re making progress and that’s enough. The idea is to strive for perfection in a healthy way, constantly evaluating and adjusting, but never expecting to be absolutely perfect.

Craig 02:31  

The Stoics even have a word for one who is making progress, prokoptōn. In Stoicism the term refers to someone who is actively striving to live according to Stoic principles and virtues. Let’s sketch out the characteristics of an ideal prokoptōn. I have no idea if I'm saying that right, by the way. After all, I'm imperfect.

An ideal prokoptōn is self-aware constantly trying to be aware of their judgments and actions and how well they align with virtue and wisdom. I’ll talk more about this in a few minutes.

An ideal prokoptōn also values practice over theory. Theory is fine, even necessary, but practical wisdom is what puts theory into practice so that you can live an excellent life. A prokoptōn isn’t a navel gazing theorist; a prokoptōn puts virtue and wisdom into practice to make the world a better place.

Craig 03:27 

Ideal prokoptōns are also humble. Accepting that you’re not perfect is an exercise in humility, which leads you to being more open minded and more open to learning. In addition, being humble is an acknowledgement of everyone’s inherent imperfection. This is critical since you need humility in order to grow. Just remember that by even striving for perfect wisdom and virtue, you’re an awesome person. So, being humble doesn’t mean ignoring the great things about who you are. It means that you acknowledge your imperfections and your opportuniites for growth.

Virtuous conduct is also a mark of an idea prokoptōn. Even if you’re not perfect, pursuing perfection will lead you to act in ways that align with virtue.

An ideal prokoptōn is also rational. The decisions an ideal prokoptōn makes are well-thought-out and based on practical wisdom, not whims and emotions. But, emotions can’t be ignored entirely, they can be inputs into a prokoptōn’s decisions, but they shouldn’t be the ultimate driver.

Craig 04:38 

Ideal prokoptōns are also resilient. They manage themselves and their reactions effectively and are not overly driven by external circumstances. This makes them more tranquil and effective in virtually every aspect of life.

An ideal prokoptōn also acts with compassion and justice. If you listened to my episode on stoicism not being just being for bros, which is available at livewellandflourish.com, I think it's episode 86, you may recall that justice is a cardinal virtue in Stoicism. Compassion flows from justice, so a prokoptōn strives to act in accordance with both.

Finally, continuous improvement is the point of being a prokoptōn, so prokoptōns are life-long learners, always seeking growth in the flourishing journey. Remember, it’s not about perfection it’s about the pursuit of perfection. So, expect to make mistakes, but expect to improve as well.

Craig 05:40 

This brings up a crucial point: Being a prokoptōn isn’t linear, there will be mistakes along the way. Prokoptōns don’t get down on themselves for making mistakes, they just try to learn from them so that they can improve.

Before closing, I want to return to the idea of self-awareness. This is the prokoptōn’s superpower. Without honest self-awareness it’s difficult to make intentional progress in your pursuit of perfect virtue and wisdom. Self-awareness is what tells you where you need to focus your growth efforts and also helps you evaluate your progress. I talked about this in episode 74. You can check it out (surprise, surprise) at livewellandflourish.com/74.

Craig 06:27 

Well, that’s it, other than a quick reminder that there are some exciting things coming for Live Well and Flourish. If you don’t want to miss out, sign up for my newsletter using the form at livewellandflourish.com.

Perfection is a wonderful horizon for your flourishing journey. It can help keep you focused on the right things. Just remember that, like the horizon, perfect virtue and wisdom isn’t attainable for us mere mortals. The goal is progress, not perfection.

Until next time, keep pursuing perfection my friends.