Leveraging Holidays for Community, Reflection, and Renewal

Welcome to Live Well and Flourish. I'm your host, craig Van Slyke. Merry Christmas. This episode is being released on Christmas Day, 2023. I knew the plan, so I've been thinking a lot about what to talk about on this special day, which led me to think about why days like Christmas are so special. I'm a Christian, so it's a highly significant day for me from a religious standpoint, but holidays, while often cloaked in religious significance, are important for other reasons. These reasons extend to other special days, such as birthdays and the winter and summer solstices. Solstice no, I think solstices is right. Why are these days so special? Not just for me, but for all of us? Well, I think it comes down to three reasons. These milestones offer the opportunity for community reflection and renewal, essential ingredients for a flourishing life. Let's talk about each of these as they relate to the holidays and other special days. If all goes according to plan, as this episode is released, I'll be waiting to board a plane to see family and friends in Orlando.

Special days are often centered around community Friends gathering for a birthday party, office Christmas get-togethers, family dinners for Thanksgiving, even druid solstice ceremonies at Stonehenge. I suppose All of these are examples of the relationship between special days and community. As I've said before, you can't flourish in a vacuum. You need relationships with others. Special days offer great excuses for gathering with family and friends, but they provide other ways to strengthen relationships, such as volunteering and community events. Of course, you shouldn't wait until the holidays to build your relationships with others, but special days do remind us of the importance of others to our flourishing. So, while we can and should cherish these gatherings on special days, also remember the importance of community and enriching your life every day. But special days aren't just for looking outward. They also remind us of the importance of looking inward, which brings me to reflection. If you're like me, you should worry. Just kidding, I think Back to the point. If you're like me, holidays trigger some pretty serious reflection. I tend to think about where I've been and where I need to go, what I'm doing well and where I need work. I spend a lot of time around the holidays pondering these sorts of things. Holidays trigger reflection for many of us, and that's a good thing for flourishing.

Reflection is critical to living an excellent life. It's the way you make sense of the world so that you can learn and grow. Holiday reflections help you take stock of your life so that you can find meaningful paths going forward. But there's a big danger in holiday reflection it's really easy to slip from useful reflection into depressing rumination. Reflection is deliberate, purposeful and growth-oriented.

Rumination is repetitive, passive and pointless. Reflection focuses on understanding the past to improve your future. Rumination focuses on past regrets without an eye towards the future. Rumination is associated with positive mental health, but chronic rumination is linked to anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. So it's important to keep the following in mind during your reflections you can't change the past, but you can learn from it so that you can grow. If you find yourself experiencing regret and rumination, shift your focus to learning and growing. Turn your pointless rumination into useful reflection.

Remember reflection is one of the most beneficial practices for flourishing. As I said, it's how you learn and grow. One way reflection helps you grow is through the next topic renewal. The holidays and other special days offer opportunities for renewal. That's kind of the point of New Year's resolutions. Although I have mixed feelings about resolutions. Anything that ties reflection to action is ultimately OK with me. Taking action is a huge part of ensuring that reflection doesn't turn to rumination If you're not where you want to be in some aspect of your life.

Don't dwell on it. Make a plan and take action. Even though we don't get fully clean slates on these special days, even small renewals are a great idea. Remember your past is part of who you are, but it doesn't have to control who you will be. You have the power to use your reason and practical wisdom to make positive changes in your life, regardless of your past. As I've said before at least I think I've said this your past is your past. It doesn't have to be your future.

So, as you go through these special days of the holidays, take some time to build community. Throw a small, impromptu party. Even a virtual happy hour can do a lot to strengthen your connections with others. Being as small as a little I was thinking of you email or text message can go a long way. Take a little time to just sit and think about your life. Don't dwell, ponder. Think about what is good in your life and what can be better. Remember, don't get down on yourself. If you've taken the time to listen this far, trust me you're a good person.

Make a plan for some gentle renewal. Choose one or two little areas for growth. Be commit to reading better books, taking more time for others, eating a healthier diet or getting more exercise. Make a concrete goal and then stick to it. Remember, small steps lead to big changes. Special days are special for many reasons, but for your flourishing they serve as reminders of the importance of community reflection and renewal. Embrace the opportunities special days provide and flourish. Take the time to connect, reflect and renew. And, before I forget, happy new year. Talk to you soon.