Embracing impermanence with wabi-sabi: Lessons from nature

Craig 00:01 

In this episode, I discuss how the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi can help you not only deal with impermanence, but also embrace it to improve your flourishing.

Welcome to Live Well and Flourish, where I help you understand what it means to live a flourishing life. I'm your host, Craig Van Slyke. If you're ready to think beyond material and external success, if you're ready to take control of who you are and the kind of life you live, if you're ready to flourish, this is the podcast for you.

The other day, our neighbors came over so that their son could look at some photos my Dad took during his time in the Korea and Vietnam conflicts. The boy is learning about World War II and I mentioned the photos to him, and, being a very bright, curious kid, he pestered his parents until they brought him over. As I went through the photos with him, I realized that everything and everyone in them was now gone or at a minimum, very different from what they were then. The pictures were frozen moments in time, a time that like all time, was fleeting. The world is constantly changing, everything is impermanent. To flourish, it’s not enough to just understand and accept impermanence, you also need to embrace that acceptance. But, how can you do this? The Japanese aesthetic concept of wabi-sabi can give us some guidance.

Craig 01:37 

Wabi-sabi, which has its roots in Japanese Zen Buddhism, is an aesthetic philosophy that celebrates impermanence, imperfection, and uncertainty. The literal translations to English are a bit difficult, and maybe not even certain, but wabi basically means subdued, austere beauty and sabi roughly translates to rustic patina. Wabi emphasizes the beauty found in the natural imperfections of things and experiences. It’s the beauty that comes from an object's humble origin or the modest charm of a handmade creation. Sabi is about the beauty derived from the natural aging process and the passage of time. It’s the wear and tear on a well-loved possession or the natural weathering of an old barn. The roots of the wabi-sabi philosophy come from the Buddhist “Three Marks of Existence,” (impermanence, suffering, and egolessness), these emphasize the impermanent and constantly changing nature of life.

Craig 02:44 

If you ever go to a traditional Japanese tea house, you’re likely to find fading pots that have been chipped or cracked and repaired. These imperfections are what give the pots their beauty and character. Each one is unique and each imperfection tells its own story. The imperfections represent the passage of the pot through time.

To me, the embodiment of wabi-sabi is the lines on a loved one’s face. The lines are imperfections, but they represent the experiences that make up life, the highs and lows, the joys and sorrows, they’re all in the lines. The beauty of life is found in the lines. The lines also represent the passage of time. We aren’t born with those lines, each one develops slowly, making the face an ever-changing representation of the transient impermanence of life. The lines represent the wear and patina that make a life unique and beautiful.

Craig 03:47 

Embracing the wabi-sabi philosophy helps you appreciate the beauty in such imperfections and accept the inevitability of aging. This is an important part of flourishing. Instead of striving for some unachievable static perfection, wabi-sabi teaches us to not only accept, but value the authentic, natural and evolving aspects of ourselves and others. By doing so, we can develop a more compassionate and understanding view of the world and ourselves.

But how can you develop a wabi-sabi mindset? I’ll give you a number of suggestions, but I want to go into some detail about what I think is an especially great way to find wabi-sabi, spending time in nature.

Craig 04:33 

Nature, like all things, is imperfect and impermanent. Luckily, I get to experience nature daily. As many of you know, our house is surrounded by forest. We’re lucky enough to own over 20 acres of woodland. It’s awesome, we even have a little creek running through the property. The forest is constantly changing. Branches and even trees come down in storms, but saplings grow to take their place. Old leaves decay, new leaves emerge. Every time Maggie and I go for a walk in the woods, things are different. They’re also imperfect. Trees don’t grow with perfect symmetry. Even the tall, seemingly straight pines aren’t really straight. But the forest is beyond beautiful. The wonder and beauty comes from the imperfections and impermanence. If every tree and bush was always the same and always perfect, the walks would become boring and mundane, walks in sterility, not walks in wonder. The imperfections and impermanence mean that every walk is a new experience, filled with new wonders.

Craig 05:41 

Part of the wonder comes from the inherent uncertainty in impermanence. We know that everything is changing, but we don’t know how. You’ve probably heard people long for the sense of wonder they had as a child, maybe you’ve done so yourself. Recapture that sense of wonder by realizing that every moment evolves to a new moment, a moment that is filled with uncertainty and new experiences. You can’t control the uncertainties of life, but you can reframe your thinking to view uncertainty not with dread, but with a sense of wonder at the surprises around every one of life’s infinite corners. The forest illustrates this well. At every turn in the path, there’s something new and wonderful to experience.

Craig 06:30 

The impermanence of the forest also encourages me to accept and acknowledge the fleeting nature of moments. The beauty of life is transient, so you need to appreciate what each moment has to offer. Every moment has value, and every moment has beauty, but every moment is just that, a moment. Although the beauty of each moment is fleeting, it is still worth savoring and cherishing; it's in the acceptance and appreciation of life's impermanence that we find true beauty and meaning. Learn to appreciate the beauty and value of each moment as it unfolds.

There’s another important aspect of the forest and that’s the connection between each element in the ecosystem and the way in which each loss leads to something new. The woods are in a constant state of decay and growth. The leaves and branches that die and decay provide nourishment for the new plants to emerge and grow. The squirrel that dies gives food to the ravens and bugs. All things are inextricably connected. This is true of the forest, and it’s true of our lives and the moments in them. Each life affects other lives and each moment leads to the next moment. Living a flourishing life requires remembering these connections.

Craig 07:52 

Let me go a little further with wabi-sabi and flourishing. I’m going to stick with the nature theme.

Being in nature encourages you to be present and fully engaged with your surroundings. There’s always something new and interesting in nature, and, since all things are impermanent, if you miss something, you’ve missed it forever. (Not to mention that here in Louisiana, there are lots of things that can kill you, so you better pay attention!). When you’re more present and fully engaged with your surroundings, you not only become more mindful, you also develop a deeper sense of connection to the world around you. In addition, you’re better equipped to appreciate the beauty in the imperfections and impermanence of the world.

Craig 08:34 

Being in nature encourages gratitude. By paying attention to the inherent, but impermanent beauty around you, you’ll grow to appreciate the wonder in each passing moment. When Maggie and I are walking in the woods, I try to appreciate the fact that I’m the only one in the world that's experiencing the beauty of that particular moment. Let that sink in. … Nobody that has ever lived and nobody who will ever live will experience the moment that I just experienced. What a fantastic gift! Wabi-sabi helps you remember and appreciate that such gifts are embedded in EVERY moment.

Being in nature can reduce stress and anxiety. The natural beauty of the imperfections of nature can help us curb the relentless pursuit of perfection that modern life seems to thrust on us. Nature isn’t perfect, but it’s beautiful. Even the old rotting tree that’s fallen to the ground is full of beauty. We just need to choose to see it. All aspects of life are the same. Sometimes it’s hard to see and hard to accept, but there’s beauty in every single moment of your life, even the really hard ones.

Craig 09:53 

Being in nature can help you let go of trying to control every aspect of your life. If Tracy listens to this, she’ll probably laugh or roll her eyes, because I am a bit of a control freak, not in the sense of trying to control her or other people, but in the sense of trying to control events. I usually have a plan, a backup plan and a backup to the backup plan. But, I’m trying really hard to accept that most things are out of my control. They just are. Nature reminds me of this. One of the many things that is out of my control is the cycle of life. Nature is filled with countless cycles, the changing seasons, the growth and decay of the bushes and trees, the surging and receding of water in the creek. All of these cycles are beyond my control and happen without my puny human interference. Observing these cycles helps me remember that I don’t control the world. It also helps me remember that because I don’t control everything, I’m not responsible for everything. (I really need to work on this!)

Craig 11:01 

Finally, being in nature helps you develop humility. (Yeah, this is another one I need to work on!) The woods go on being the woods without any help from me. My place in this world is tiny and virtually all things go on without my interference. Sure, as I’ve said before, we all make a difference in this world and it’s important to keep that in mind. But at the same time, the world doesn’t revolve around you or me, we also need to stay mindful of that fact.

By spending time in nature and immersing yourself in its ever-changing beauty, you can cultivate a deeper understanding of wabi-sabi principles and develop a greater acceptance of the things beyond your control. This awareness can ultimately bring a sense of peace and contentment, allowing you to better appreciate the beauty and wonder of life's imperfections, impermanence, and unpredictability.

Craig 11:58 

So, what are some concrete things you can do this week to help you develop and benefit from a wabi-sabi mindset? You can probably guess the first one: Spend some time in nature. You may not be lucky enough to have access to your own forest, but I’ll bet there’s a park or trail somewhere near you. If not, you can likely find someplace with grass and trees, even if it’s just your own yard. Go outside and pay attention to the beauty in nature. Observe what’s dying and decaying and what’s growing and emerging. See what bugs or critters are running around. Do this at least twice in the coming week and notice what’s changed between your visits. You need to really pay attention to notice the changes, but that’s part of the exercise.

Craig 12:48 

The second thing to try is to go find something old. It can be an old book, an old dish or utensil, an old piece of clothing … it really doesn’t matter. Look at it closely and imagine how its imperfections came to be. How did that stain get on that shirt? Where did that scratch or fingerprint come from? Personally, I’m going to pay attention to the little bits of dirt and fuzz on our carpet and floors. (If you have animals, you know that there’s no such thing as a spotless carpet or floor, no matter how often you clean it!) When I see those I’ll take a moment to appreciate the little bundles of furry joy that brought in each imperfection.

Finally, take a few minutes and think about how your seeming imperfections have grown from the impermanence of your life. For example, I have a scar on my little finger that came from an unfortunate incident with a muck cart. That painful moment came out of a new adventure, having horses. It’s given us some funny stories and memories, and it's also is part of what makes me unique. I’m the only person in the entire world with that scar. (Probably because I’m the only person who was dumb enough to do what I did to get that scar!) That little scar is part of what makes me me, and the moment of getting the injury the scar represents changed me, not only physically, but in terms of who I am as well. It's also made me wear gloves more. Every moment has the same effect on every one of us, whether we realize it or not.

Craig 14:28 

I’m going to end with a slight alteration of a quote from Hericletus, “No one steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river, and they’re not the same person.” As you go through your week embrace and see the beauty in the inherent impermanence of each moment.

Until next time, be well my friends.

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Until next time.