Deconstructing Failure: The 3A's Pathway to Growth

Craig 00:00 
Life is a series of failures, but that’s OK. Although failure is inevitable, it is within your power to turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones. Today, I'll help you understand how you can use the 3A’s method to turn failure into success.

Welcome to Live Well and Flourish, where I help you understand what it means to live a flourishing life. I'm your host, Craig Van Slyke. If you're ready to think beyond material and external success, if you're ready to take control of who you are and the kind of life you live, if you're ready to flourish, this is the podcast for you.

Craig 00:48 
Failure is an inevitable part of life, especially when you’re driven and growth oriented. Everyone … and I mean everyone … experiences failure. Failing is inescapable. But failure is not the opposite of success. Failure and success are two sides of the same coin. Failing does not mean you’re a failure; in fact, the opposite is often true. Highly successful people fail a lot, they just know how to deal with failures in productive ways that help propel them to learning and growth. Look, what I’m saying here isn’t anything new. Failure has been discussed and written about in great detail for a LONG time. In fact, one of my former universities even had a very popular and useful course on failing forward.

So, what do I have to add? Well, I’ve experienced more than my share of failure, although I consider my life to be successful overall and I’m not alone. The same can be said for many folks much more successful than me. On the surface, the positive correlation between failure and eventual success might be puzzling, but on closer examination, it makes total sense. Let’s break this down.

 Craig 02:08 

Success involves the risk of failure. Achieving a high level of success requires taking risks. I don’t see any way around this. Risk, by its very nature, involves chance, and chance sometimes runs against you, despite your best efforts. In some cases, a failure can be traced to something you did or did not do, but other times events just worked against you. I’ll talk more about this later.

Failures offer opportunities for learning and growth. Realizing and taking advantage of these opportunities is the key to turning failure into success. The operative word here is “opportunity.” Learning from failure is not automatic, as I’ll get to later.

Failure breeds resilience. Or, maybe I should say “failure CAN breed resilience.” Again, this relationship isn’t automatic. People who see the possibilities that lie within failure are better able to fight through failure to reach eventual success. But, failure can also be debilitating if you let it. The good news is that each time you turn failure into opportunity, you build your resilience to future failure.

Craig 03:25 

Here are two big takeaways from this episode. Yep, I’m giving them to you early.

The outcomes of failure depend on how you view failure. And...

          Failure + reflection = learning and growth

My little 3A’s method for leveraging failure is directed at putting these two thoughts into practice. So, keep them in mind as we move through the episode. So, what is my process? Well, as the name implies, it involves three steps: acceptance, analysis, and adjustment.

Acceptance is the most important part. If you can’t accept that failure is a byproduct of the journey to success, it will be hard to develop a healthy mindset about failure, which can keep you from leveraging failure for learning, growth, and success. Having a negative view of failure leads to anger, regret, bitterness, fear, reduced self-esteem, depression, risk aversion, and a whole host of other bad outcomes. Taking a positive view of failure leads to growth, learning, resilience, persistence, and eventual success. I want to remind you that, as the Stoics teach, your opinion is always up to you, even your opinion of failure. So, how can you develop a growth-oriented view of failure? I think it relies on three critical elements. First, you have to recognize the value of failure. Hopefully, this episode will help with this part. Second, you need to have a future orientation. Keeping your focus on the future lets you more readily recognize the learning and growth opportunities that accompany any failure. Third, keep your focus on your purpose. You do have some understanding of your purpose, don’t you? If not, I encourage you to check out Episode 23, which is available at livewellandflourish.com/23. Focusing on your purpose can help you understand the ultimate payoff from failure, and from the effort necessary to learn from failure.  

Craig 05:37 

Analysis comes next. As I mentioned earlier, failure + reflection = learning. The reflection part of the equation is crucial. And I'm using analysis here rather than reflection, but the two terms are synonymous in this use. Taking the time to analyze your failure serves two important purposes: it helps you learn from the failure, and, if the failure was caused by something you did, analysis can help you avoid similar mistakes in the future. The key to this analysis is diagnosing the causes of the failure. Note I said “causes” -- plural not singular. The world is a complex, messy place so failures seldom have just one cause. Although blaming failure on a single cause is easy, it’s rarely accurate. 

Craig 06:28 

What are some common causes of failure? Here’s a partial list. Sometimes failure is caused by not following a well thought out plan. This happens a lot. Someone spends a ton of time and effort on developing a detailed plan and then promptly abandons it. Of course, plans can be, and often are, faulty, which can also cause failure. So I’m not saying you should always follow the predetermined plan to the letter. Adjustments are often necessary. I AM saying, don’t deviate from a solid plan without a solid reason. 

Sometimes failure comes down to a lack of ability. We occasionally bite off more than we can chew and fail as a result. Failure can also be caused by a lack of will. You know what you need to do, but you’re not willing to do it. A lot of new year’s resolutions fail because of this. Failure can also be the result of hypothesis testing or exploration, both of which carry inherent uncertainty. Trial-and-error is a legitimate method -- one that sometimes results in failure. Experiments can fail, but these failures often lead to refinements that result in ultimate success. You’ve probably heard the story about Edison stating that he hadn’t failed to make a lightbulb 10,000 times, he learned 10,000 ways not to build a lightbulb. Whether this is true or a myth, the message is sound and reflects the growth through failure mindset I mentioned earlier. 

Craig 08:02 

Remember, what makes something innovative is the same thing that makes it risky -- it hasn’t been done before. Unpredictable events beyond your control can also cause failure. Sometimes the cards just don’t come out your way. You have a good plan, do everything right, but still fail. If you’re looking for a good way to identify the root causes of failure, you might want to check out the “5 Whys” technique. It's a pretty simple one and it's very useful. Just search the web and you'll see a lot of online resources related to the 5 Whys.

 When you do your failure analysis, try to develop ways to better assess and mitigate risks in the future. For example, you might break down a big project into smaller chunks as recommended by the small wins approach I discussed in episode 29. Or, you might mitigate risk by developing contingency plans associated with major risks. (By the way, I’m a HUGE fan of having backup plans, which is just another way to say contingency plans.) One final point: when you do your failure analysis, you need to take a detached, dispassionate view. Don’t let emotions or biases get in the way of effective analysis. A detached view will help you conduct your analysis so that you can be more effective at the third “A”, adjustment.

 Craig 09:30 

Adjustment requires taking what you’ve learned and using the information to make changes. Without action, the first two steps are largely academic exercises. This is another example of practical wisdom requiring action, not just ideas. I’ll warn you though; sometimes the adjustments are not easy. You may have to face some hard truths and make some difficult choices. The necessary adjustments may be beyond your capabilities or resources. In these cases, your goal should be to adjust by making more accurate and realistic assessments of your capabilities and resources in the future. When you do encounter situations in which you either cannot or will not make the necessary adjustments, return to your purpose to find other paths forward. To paraphrase Seneca, on all sides lie many paths to your purpose.

 Craig 10:28 

I want to talk a bit more about the importance of purpose here. A deep understanding of and commitment to your purpose helps you put failure into the perspective of your overall destination or journey. It also allows you to gain more knowledge from failure, especially about how to overcome that failure. All of this makes you more resilient and persistent in the face of failure, allowing you to ultimately find success.

 So, what can you do to start down the path of turning the stumbling blocks of failure into the stepping stones of success? I have some suggestions.

My first suggestion is to read about the failures of very successful people. Just search for  “successful people who failed” and you’ll find a ton of examples. Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team, Stephen King and Dr. Seuss having their first books rejected more than two dozen times, Oprah Winfrey being fired from her first television job, Jerry Seinfeld being booed off the stage his first time out, Walt Disney’s first editor telling him he lacked imagination … the list goes on and on. Each one of these folks found the resilience to keep going despite early failures, leading to massive future success.

 Craig 11:51 

Then, pick one of these stories and use your imagination to picture what that person might have done to persevere through the failure. What can you learn from their stories? How can you equip yourself to not only fight through failure, but turn it to your advantage?

 Finally, pick a recent small failure and run through the 3As. Remember to take a dispassionate approach to your analysis and to focus on what you can learn from the failure. This can be a fantastic, low risk exercise, especially if you can uncover causes of the small failure that might also bring about more significant failures. (Here's a Hint: Small and large failures have A LOT in common.)

Okay, that's all for today. Hopefully I've convinced you that it's worth the investment to put a little time and effort into turning failure into learning and growth.

Craig 12:46 

The closing quote is long, but full of wisdom. It comes from a commencement address Steve Jobs, a college dropout, gave at Stanford.

 You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

 Until next time, fail with gusto, my friends.

I produce Live Well and Flourish because of my dedication to helping others live excellent lives. I don't accept sponsorships and I don't want your money. The only thing I want is to help you and others flourish. If you've received some value from this episode, please share it with someone that might also benefit from listening. The best way to do that is to direct them to livewellandflourish.com

 Until next time.